Winless In Seattle
Steve Sauro
Elliott SmithTell me no lies...
November 7th 2010 04:07
:
Week 9 Picks
"Stop telling lies about me and I'll stop telling the truth about you."
That's what Michael Douglas tells Josh Brolin in "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps". That quote itself was lifted from the famous Adlai Stevenson's famous quote: "I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends...that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them". Sure, that quote carries more weight a couple days after FoxNews spent a week making up stats about Obama's trip to India ($200 million a day? 1/10 of our Navy? Really FoxNews? Should they even be allowed to call themselves a "news" channel anymore?) but we're not a political blog, so let's put this in sports terms.
Each of this weekend's games has some truths and lies to them. It's time to find what's true and what's not about these teams. Also, if I'm below .500 again this week, we're flipping a coin next weekend to decide the games.
Tampa Bay@Atlanta
Lie: Cadillac Williams is an up and coming star.
He's already being pushed (punched?) out the door by Blount who, by the way, looks very good.
Truth: This game could decide the NFC South.
Look, we are all waiting for the Saints to come around. And they did look good last week against the Stealers. But Tampa Bay is 3-0 on the road this season, with road games against the Niners and Redskins coming up as well as home games against Carolina, Seattle and Detroit. Those are 5 very winnable games for a team sitting on 5 wins already. The Falcons have to go Tampa Bay in a few weeks, and that may be the actual game that decides the South, but if Atlanta loses this one it might be an uphill battle for them or the Saints to take the division.
UPSET! Bucs 19-17
Chicago@Buffalo
Lie: I will not be watching this game.
I guess it might not technically be a lie. I mean, I'm sure they'll cut into whatever game I am watching to show some Buffalo defensive back I've never heard of returning 2 or 3 Cutler picks for touchdowns.
Truth: Ryan Fitzpatrick is a better quarterback than Jay Cutler.
It really isn't even that close. Remember this for future rosters. Always pick the Harvard grad over the douchebag.
Bills 23-17 (And yes, I know I picked differently in our Writer's Challenge. Now I'm guaranteed a win this week.)
New England@Cleveland
Lie: The Browns have been good and have a chance against the Patriots.
Because they don't, they really don't.
Truth: Peyton Hillis was traded to the Browns for Brady Quinn.
I had actually forgotten about this until I read Bill Simmons article on Friday. The Broncos even gave up two draft picks. Yikes.
Patriots 35-14
NY Jets@Detroit
Lie: LT is washed up
544 yards, 5 TDs in 7 games. Not that the Chargers could use him right now.
Truth: The Jets are 27th in passing offense this season. Oh, and they got shut out last week. At home.
I'm telling you, seriously, Mark Sanchez is an average quarterback at best. The Jets are a good team with or without him.
Lions: 27-24
Arizona@Minnesota
Lie: The Vikings will miss Randy Moss.
It won't matter either way. I don't think having him there made a bit of difference and I don't think having him gone lessens the distractions.
Truth: The Vikings are still in the playoff hunt.
They still have Buffalo, Washington, Detroit, and two games against the Bears left. If they get 5 wins there and win this home game, that's 8 wins altogether. Just saying...
Vikings 28-10
New Orleans@Carolina
Lie: The Panthers are the worst a team can look in the NFL
Not true. They could have Jay Cutler.
Truth: The Saints beat the Stealers but lost to the Cards and Browns this year.
It's true. I even looked it up again to make sure. Will this be the game they start looking like last year's Saints?
Saints 33-10
Miami@Baltimore
Lie: The Ravens signed T.J. Houshmandzadeh before the regular season started.
This can' be true. I would have seen him by now.
Truth: The Dolphins are no longer a "Wildcat" team.
They've ran the Wildcat only 20 times this season, including 4 times in the last 4 games. I believe they were averaging something like 1.6 yards a play from the formation. The Wildcat is dead in Miami, unless it literally means running any play without a QB, in which case they run the Wildcat every play.
Ravens 22-10
San Diego@Houston
Lie: Houston will end the season more than 1 game above or below .500.
It won't happen. I'm telling you guys.
Truth: After this game, Phillip Rivers will have over 3000 passing yards on the season.
Even without Antonio Gates Sunday, he'll be past the 3000 yard mark with 7 games left. Pretty impressive, and yet they're 3-5. Go figure.
Houston 28-24
Kansas City@Oakland
Lie: The Raiders game will be blacked out in Oakland.
After 9 straight television blackouts and 78 in their last 122 games, the Raiders will finally be on TV in Oakland. Congrats on finally having a game worth watching!
Truth: Oakland has a tougher game than last week.
Seriously, what the hell was that Seahawks? Why are you so gawd-awful on the road? Oakland isn't even that far of a trip! At least you let us fans know by the end of the first quarter that you had given up for the day. Has a 13-0 lead early in the 2nd half ever seemed as insurmountable as it did last Sunday?
Raiders 31-24
Indianapolis@Philadelphia
Lie: The Colts have put 11 players on injured reserve this year.
That's incorrect. It's now 12.
Truth: It doesn't matter when you have Peyton Manning.
The guy may be the best quarterback in the NFL right now, but we won't know for sure until we see Charlie Whitehurst throw a pass.
Colts: 27-17
Dallas@Green Bay
Lie: Wade Phillips is the worse coach in football.
Nope. That goes to North Carolina State's coach. On Saturday his team was down 14-13 with 3:00 minutes to go in the 4th quarter facing 4th down and 1 from the 50 yard line. Everyone goes for it, right? Wrong. For added enjoyment, the ensuing punt went 4 yards. 4 yards!! Hilarious! They would lose 14-13.
Truth: I loved this article: The Onion
Go ahead, read it. You'll love it too.
Green Bay 26-10
Pittsburgh@Cincinnati
Lie: This game will only be shown on local affiliates because no one could possibly care about a game that involves a 2-win team that has T.O. and Ocho on it, nor the other team headed by a QB who has been arrested more times than Michael Vick.
That would be incorrect; this is the Monday night game on national television. Luckily I'll be watching Conan O'Brien.
Truth: I will continue to spell their name the "Stealers".
Because it's kind of fun when I get told I spelled their name wrong.
NY Giants@Seattle
Lie: Charlie Whitehurst gives us a better chance to win than Matt Hasselbeck.
We can't know for sure...
Truth: Charlie Whitehurst gives us a better chance to win than Matt Hasselbeck.
...no one can. And that's the beauty of football. A quarterback who hasn't thrown a regular season pass going against one of the NFC elite teams. After laying an egg on the road (again), the Seahawks have a chance to make a statement at home with an unproven leader and a nervous fan base anxiously waiting to see what he can do. Game on.
Seahawks 21-18
That's what Michael Douglas tells Josh Brolin in "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps". That quote itself was lifted from the famous Adlai Stevenson's famous quote: "I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends...that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them". Sure, that quote carries more weight a couple days after FoxNews spent a week making up stats about Obama's trip to India ($200 million a day? 1/10 of our Navy? Really FoxNews? Should they even be allowed to call themselves a "news" channel anymore?) but we're not a political blog, so let's put this in sports terms.
Each of this weekend's games has some truths and lies to them. It's time to find what's true and what's not about these teams. Also, if I'm below .500 again this week, we're flipping a coin next weekend to decide the games.
Tampa Bay@Atlanta
Lie: Cadillac Williams is an up and coming star.
He's already being pushed (punched?) out the door by Blount who, by the way, looks very good.
Truth: This game could decide the NFC South.
Look, we are all waiting for the Saints to come around. And they did look good last week against the Stealers. But Tampa Bay is 3-0 on the road this season, with road games against the Niners and Redskins coming up as well as home games against Carolina, Seattle and Detroit. Those are 5 very winnable games for a team sitting on 5 wins already. The Falcons have to go Tampa Bay in a few weeks, and that may be the actual game that decides the South, but if Atlanta loses this one it might be an uphill battle for them or the Saints to take the division.
UPSET! Bucs 19-17
Chicago@Buffalo
Lie: I will not be watching this game.
I guess it might not technically be a lie. I mean, I'm sure they'll cut into whatever game I am watching to show some Buffalo defensive back I've never heard of returning 2 or 3 Cutler picks for touchdowns.
Truth: Ryan Fitzpatrick is a better quarterback than Jay Cutler.
It really isn't even that close. Remember this for future rosters. Always pick the Harvard grad over the douchebag.
Bills 23-17 (And yes, I know I picked differently in our Writer's Challenge. Now I'm guaranteed a win this week.)
New England@Cleveland
Lie: The Browns have been good and have a chance against the Patriots.
Because they don't, they really don't.
Truth: Peyton Hillis was traded to the Browns for Brady Quinn.
I had actually forgotten about this until I read Bill Simmons article on Friday. The Broncos even gave up two draft picks. Yikes.
Patriots 35-14
NY Jets@Detroit
Lie: LT is washed up
544 yards, 5 TDs in 7 games. Not that the Chargers could use him right now.
Truth: The Jets are 27th in passing offense this season. Oh, and they got shut out last week. At home.
I'm telling you, seriously, Mark Sanchez is an average quarterback at best. The Jets are a good team with or without him.
Lions: 27-24
Arizona@Minnesota
Lie: The Vikings will miss Randy Moss.
It won't matter either way. I don't think having him there made a bit of difference and I don't think having him gone lessens the distractions.
Truth: The Vikings are still in the playoff hunt.
They still have Buffalo, Washington, Detroit, and two games against the Bears left. If they get 5 wins there and win this home game, that's 8 wins altogether. Just saying...
Vikings 28-10
New Orleans@Carolina
Lie: The Panthers are the worst a team can look in the NFL
Not true. They could have Jay Cutler.
Truth: The Saints beat the Stealers but lost to the Cards and Browns this year.
It's true. I even looked it up again to make sure. Will this be the game they start looking like last year's Saints?
Saints 33-10
Miami@Baltimore
Lie: The Ravens signed T.J. Houshmandzadeh before the regular season started.
This can' be true. I would have seen him by now.
Truth: The Dolphins are no longer a "Wildcat" team.
They've ran the Wildcat only 20 times this season, including 4 times in the last 4 games. I believe they were averaging something like 1.6 yards a play from the formation. The Wildcat is dead in Miami, unless it literally means running any play without a QB, in which case they run the Wildcat every play.
Ravens 22-10
San Diego@Houston
Lie: Houston will end the season more than 1 game above or below .500.
It won't happen. I'm telling you guys.
Truth: After this game, Phillip Rivers will have over 3000 passing yards on the season.
Even without Antonio Gates Sunday, he'll be past the 3000 yard mark with 7 games left. Pretty impressive, and yet they're 3-5. Go figure.
Houston 28-24
Kansas City@Oakland
Lie: The Raiders game will be blacked out in Oakland.
After 9 straight television blackouts and 78 in their last 122 games, the Raiders will finally be on TV in Oakland. Congrats on finally having a game worth watching!
Truth: Oakland has a tougher game than last week.
Seriously, what the hell was that Seahawks? Why are you so gawd-awful on the road? Oakland isn't even that far of a trip! At least you let us fans know by the end of the first quarter that you had given up for the day. Has a 13-0 lead early in the 2nd half ever seemed as insurmountable as it did last Sunday?
Raiders 31-24
Indianapolis@Philadelphia
Lie: The Colts have put 11 players on injured reserve this year.
That's incorrect. It's now 12.
Truth: It doesn't matter when you have Peyton Manning.
The guy may be the best quarterback in the NFL right now, but we won't know for sure until we see Charlie Whitehurst throw a pass.
Colts: 27-17
Dallas@Green Bay
Lie: Wade Phillips is the worse coach in football.
Nope. That goes to North Carolina State's coach. On Saturday his team was down 14-13 with 3:00 minutes to go in the 4th quarter facing 4th down and 1 from the 50 yard line. Everyone goes for it, right? Wrong. For added enjoyment, the ensuing punt went 4 yards. 4 yards!! Hilarious! They would lose 14-13.
Truth: I loved this article: The Onion
Go ahead, read it. You'll love it too.
Green Bay 26-10
Pittsburgh@Cincinnati
Lie: This game will only be shown on local affiliates because no one could possibly care about a game that involves a 2-win team that has T.O. and Ocho on it, nor the other team headed by a QB who has been arrested more times than Michael Vick.
That would be incorrect; this is the Monday night game on national television. Luckily I'll be watching Conan O'Brien.
Truth: I will continue to spell their name the "Stealers".
Because it's kind of fun when I get told I spelled their name wrong.
NY Giants@Seattle
Lie: Charlie Whitehurst gives us a better chance to win than Matt Hasselbeck.
We can't know for sure...
Truth: Charlie Whitehurst gives us a better chance to win than Matt Hasselbeck.
...no one can. And that's the beauty of football. A quarterback who hasn't thrown a regular season pass going against one of the NFC elite teams. After laying an egg on the road (again), the Seahawks have a chance to make a statement at home with an unproven leader and a nervous fan base anxiously waiting to see what he can do. Game on.
Seahawks 21-18
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