Winless In Seattle
Steve Sauro
Elliott SmithNFL picks Week 7!
October 23rd 2010 03:37
I was at the airport around 7 AM last week. Still groggy from the weekend, I struck up a half-hearted conversation with the cute ticket agent who mentioned I had been flying a lot the last week. It was after that comment that she noticed that I would not be flying back to the Missoula airport (as I had planned) but to another airport far, far away. Now, had she not noticed this, I would have never checked my return ticket and I would have been in a different airport on a different day with a different ticket counter person that would probably not be nearly as helpful and positively not as cute as the one who was about to save my day. I would have almost certainly gone to an airport expecting a flight to Missoula and would have found a ticket in my name to a city not named Missoula. Our super friendly, super helpful new favorite person proceeded to find me the flight I wanted to be on and then proceeded to call whoever needed to be called to switch me on said flight. During that conversation, I overheard this:
Super Friendly Super Cute Ticket Counter Lady: (on the phone with someone important) So the price change would be $298.68?
Me: $300? You know, I could maybe…
S.F.S.C.T.C.L: (cutting me off by shaking her head while still talking to the important airline guy) You know sir, couldn’t we (speaks a bunch of airplane jargon) and then by doing that, it would be at no cost to the customer. Wouldn’t that be easier? (She then mouths the words “You owe me” to me and smiles)
So not only does she make me aware that my ignorant ass wasn’t flying back to the city I wanted to, but she found a way to waive roughly $300. She was right, I did owe her. Big time. So while away from Missoula I tried to figure out what to do in return. I love sending flowers, but that seemed a little creepy to me. I think sending flowers to someone you’ve known for 20 minutes comes off less like a “Thank you” and more like “I’m watching you from your front yard right now”. But still, a simple comment card saying she did a good job seemed way too impersonal for going out of her way like she did. So I settled on a Target gift card (the only store around my hotel that I knew had a Missoula location). I put it in a thank you card and left my number saying if there was anything else I could do or anything else I could talk to as a thank you, don’t hesitate to call (I was nervous about the handwritten part. Due to exclusively using a computer to write anything the last 10 years, my penmanship has come to resemble that of a 12 year old with Parkinson’s. Is that analogy PC?). My plan was simple. If she called, I would strike up a conversation, try to seem charming and hopefully she might be single. I don’t know how common super friendly super cute ticket counter ladies actually are, but I definitely had no problem buying this one dinner if she seemed remotely interested. If she didn’t call, as lame as a gift card might be, at least I was able to give her something as a thank you.
Again, if anyone deserved some gifts (and a promotion), it was her. So I flew back, dropped the card off at the ticket counter and went on with my life.
After a couple of days, there was no call. Which was totally fine. Again, the point was to show appreciation for doing an extraordinary job. Getting a date was not my intention. After a few more days of not hearing anything, I kind of just forgot about it (my attention span isn’t the greatest). So when she did call a couple of days ago, I wasn’t remotely prepared for it. She mentioned how “sweet” it was 2-3 times, said how surprised she was (she had just found the card a few minutes earlier) and seemed to rather enjoy talking to me. Except I whiffed. I don’t think I said anything other than “Well, you deserved it” or “Thanks for the call, glad you got the card”. Basically, I have no game. I imagine a cooler, more suave guy would have told a few jokes or asked if he could buy her dinner, things of that ilk. I did none of these things. It seemed like I had an opportunity there, and I watched the pitch go by. In the long run, it’s the opportunities you don’t take that you should regret.
That is my around the lake way of pointing out that I’m getting killed on picks. I’ve been in the basement so long in our Unsportsman Writer’s Challenge a reader asked if I was intentionally trying to throw the competition. My own picks column last week yielded five wins. Out of fourteen! Flipping a coin for each game would have probably given me a better week. We need to regroup and kill it this week. I’m still .500 for the season, we can build on this! The opportunities you don’t take might be the ones you regret, but swinging and missing a bunch isn’t really that much fun either. Let’s get to the picks!
Cincinnati@Atlanta
The question is if the Bengals keep sucking, will they just start signing other reality stars to play alongside T.O and Ocho? Wouldn’t they draw more viewers if the cast of Jersey Shore were getting hit by linebackers on a weekly basis? Wouldn’t you be Tivo-ing that game every Sunday?
Falcons 31-14
Washington@Chicago
Redskins have been playing well, and the Bears have been a mess. For some reason, I don’t see McNabb having a good game here. Plus, I have to believe Chicago spent the week fixing glaring errors like “Maybe we should run more than four times in a half when we have a QB like Cutler and terrible pass blocking”.
Bears 24-17
Philadelphia@Tennesee
People are getting a little too high on the Eagles. Has the makings of a letdown on the road.
Titans 31-20
Jacksonville@Kansas City
I had one rule when I started writing about sports. It was simple: If Todd Bouman ever starts a game on the road, I will take the home team. Who would have thought I’d ever get a chance to go against St. Cloud College’s most famous alumni?
Chiefs 21-10
Pittsburgh@Miami
This is getting really old. It isn’t tough people. Send your best looking cheerleader to Big Ben’s room with a case of PBR. He’s suspended another 4 weeks. Why has no one done this yet?
Dolphins 28-24 because I really, really hate the Steelers
Cleveland@ New Orleans
I love Peyton Hillis. Too bad the Browns don’t have a QB yet. Or that they have to play the Steelers and Saints on consecutive weeks.
Saints 35-10
St. Louis@Tampa Bay
I’m watching the Rangers game right now and Arod is up with 2 outs down by 5 runs. Please be the last out, please be the last out. Oh, right, football game. Both of these teams are playing over their heads right now. For the record, I would take whoever is the home team every time these two played. Looks like it’s the Bucs.
Bucs 27-20
San Francisco@Carolina
HE STRUCK OUT LOOKING!!! LOVE IT!! RANGERS GO THE WORLD SERIES AND NEW YORK DOESN’T!!! SO HAPPY! OK, back to football. The team with one win goes on the road and beats the team with no win. Two brutally underachieving teams here.
Niners 3-0
Buffalo@Baltimore
Did you know there was an article on ESPN about whether the Bills could beat a USFL team? Can you believe they are that bad? Will the Ravens even let them get 10 first downs?
Ravens 28-3
Oakland@Denver
Broncos should have won last week if not for a terrible pass inference call on 4th down. They are better than their 2-4 record and I think the Raiders are about to find that out.
Broncos 23-14
New England@San Diego
A lot of people are picking the Chargers here. I just don’t think they’re that good anymore. Also, Phillip Rivers is still a dick. Man I hate that guy.
Patriots 35-31
Arizona@Seattle
I have my reasons
Cardinals 28-20
Minnesota@Green Bay
The media is doing a terrible job on this game. I’ve heard nothing about it. Nothing about cell phone pics or returning players or wives on “The View”. Nothing. Forgot they were even playing.
Vikings 31-28
New York Giants@Dallas
As much fun as it is to watch the Cowboys lose, I don’t think they are as bad as their record. Conversely, I don’t think the Giants are as good as their record. If Romo pulls out a win here, prepare yourself for roughly 1000 “The Cowboys are back” stories on the TV and radio next week.
Cowboys 24-20
Super Friendly Super Cute Ticket Counter Lady: (on the phone with someone important) So the price change would be $298.68?
Me: $300? You know, I could maybe…
S.F.S.C.T.C.L: (cutting me off by shaking her head while still talking to the important airline guy) You know sir, couldn’t we (speaks a bunch of airplane jargon) and then by doing that, it would be at no cost to the customer. Wouldn’t that be easier? (She then mouths the words “You owe me” to me and smiles)
So not only does she make me aware that my ignorant ass wasn’t flying back to the city I wanted to, but she found a way to waive roughly $300. She was right, I did owe her. Big time. So while away from Missoula I tried to figure out what to do in return. I love sending flowers, but that seemed a little creepy to me. I think sending flowers to someone you’ve known for 20 minutes comes off less like a “Thank you” and more like “I’m watching you from your front yard right now”. But still, a simple comment card saying she did a good job seemed way too impersonal for going out of her way like she did. So I settled on a Target gift card (the only store around my hotel that I knew had a Missoula location). I put it in a thank you card and left my number saying if there was anything else I could do or anything else I could talk to as a thank you, don’t hesitate to call (I was nervous about the handwritten part. Due to exclusively using a computer to write anything the last 10 years, my penmanship has come to resemble that of a 12 year old with Parkinson’s. Is that analogy PC?). My plan was simple. If she called, I would strike up a conversation, try to seem charming and hopefully she might be single. I don’t know how common super friendly super cute ticket counter ladies actually are, but I definitely had no problem buying this one dinner if she seemed remotely interested. If she didn’t call, as lame as a gift card might be, at least I was able to give her something as a thank you.
Again, if anyone deserved some gifts (and a promotion), it was her. So I flew back, dropped the card off at the ticket counter and went on with my life.
After a couple of days, there was no call. Which was totally fine. Again, the point was to show appreciation for doing an extraordinary job. Getting a date was not my intention. After a few more days of not hearing anything, I kind of just forgot about it (my attention span isn’t the greatest). So when she did call a couple of days ago, I wasn’t remotely prepared for it. She mentioned how “sweet” it was 2-3 times, said how surprised she was (she had just found the card a few minutes earlier) and seemed to rather enjoy talking to me. Except I whiffed. I don’t think I said anything other than “Well, you deserved it” or “Thanks for the call, glad you got the card”. Basically, I have no game. I imagine a cooler, more suave guy would have told a few jokes or asked if he could buy her dinner, things of that ilk. I did none of these things. It seemed like I had an opportunity there, and I watched the pitch go by. In the long run, it’s the opportunities you don’t take that you should regret.
That is my around the lake way of pointing out that I’m getting killed on picks. I’ve been in the basement so long in our Unsportsman Writer’s Challenge a reader asked if I was intentionally trying to throw the competition. My own picks column last week yielded five wins. Out of fourteen! Flipping a coin for each game would have probably given me a better week. We need to regroup and kill it this week. I’m still .500 for the season, we can build on this! The opportunities you don’t take might be the ones you regret, but swinging and missing a bunch isn’t really that much fun either. Let’s get to the picks!
Cincinnati@Atlanta
The question is if the Bengals keep sucking, will they just start signing other reality stars to play alongside T.O and Ocho? Wouldn’t they draw more viewers if the cast of Jersey Shore were getting hit by linebackers on a weekly basis? Wouldn’t you be Tivo-ing that game every Sunday?
Falcons 31-14
Washington@Chicago
Redskins have been playing well, and the Bears have been a mess. For some reason, I don’t see McNabb having a good game here. Plus, I have to believe Chicago spent the week fixing glaring errors like “Maybe we should run more than four times in a half when we have a QB like Cutler and terrible pass blocking”.
Bears 24-17
Philadelphia@Tennesee
People are getting a little too high on the Eagles. Has the makings of a letdown on the road.
Titans 31-20
Jacksonville@Kansas City
I had one rule when I started writing about sports. It was simple: If Todd Bouman ever starts a game on the road, I will take the home team. Who would have thought I’d ever get a chance to go against St. Cloud College’s most famous alumni?
Chiefs 21-10
Pittsburgh@Miami
This is getting really old. It isn’t tough people. Send your best looking cheerleader to Big Ben’s room with a case of PBR. He’s suspended another 4 weeks. Why has no one done this yet?
Dolphins 28-24 because I really, really hate the Steelers
Cleveland@ New Orleans
I love Peyton Hillis. Too bad the Browns don’t have a QB yet. Or that they have to play the Steelers and Saints on consecutive weeks.
Saints 35-10
St. Louis@Tampa Bay
I’m watching the Rangers game right now and Arod is up with 2 outs down by 5 runs. Please be the last out, please be the last out. Oh, right, football game. Both of these teams are playing over their heads right now. For the record, I would take whoever is the home team every time these two played. Looks like it’s the Bucs.
Bucs 27-20
San Francisco@Carolina
HE STRUCK OUT LOOKING!!! LOVE IT!! RANGERS GO THE WORLD SERIES AND NEW YORK DOESN’T!!! SO HAPPY! OK, back to football. The team with one win goes on the road and beats the team with no win. Two brutally underachieving teams here.
Niners 3-0
Buffalo@Baltimore
Did you know there was an article on ESPN about whether the Bills could beat a USFL team? Can you believe they are that bad? Will the Ravens even let them get 10 first downs?
Ravens 28-3
Oakland@Denver
Broncos should have won last week if not for a terrible pass inference call on 4th down. They are better than their 2-4 record and I think the Raiders are about to find that out.
Broncos 23-14
New England@San Diego
A lot of people are picking the Chargers here. I just don’t think they’re that good anymore. Also, Phillip Rivers is still a dick. Man I hate that guy.
Patriots 35-31
Arizona@Seattle
I have my reasons
Cardinals 28-20
Minnesota@Green Bay
The media is doing a terrible job on this game. I’ve heard nothing about it. Nothing about cell phone pics or returning players or wives on “The View”. Nothing. Forgot they were even playing.
Vikings 31-28
New York Giants@Dallas
As much fun as it is to watch the Cowboys lose, I don’t think they are as bad as their record. Conversely, I don’t think the Giants are as good as their record. If Romo pulls out a win here, prepare yourself for roughly 1000 “The Cowboys are back” stories on the TV and radio next week.
Cowboys 24-20
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