Winless In Seattle
Steve Sauro
Elliott SmithFootball Preview! Part 1!
September 7th 2010 22:06
As I type this, the Mariner’s game is starting in the background. I decided not to write about individual games once I realized our team was too boring to cover daily. We’re trying to add readers over here at Unsportsman, not drive you away by giving daily write-ups of a team that might not score 500 runs this season. I will, however, mention Jose Lopez in every article from here on out until the powers that be finally send him away for good. A guy who set a goal of drawing 50 walks this year has 19 so far. A guy who has been batting 4th or 5th all year has a slugging percentage of .327. Again: .327! That’s only 34 points higher than Rob Johnson’s on base percentage, and Rob Johnson takes to baseball like a duck takes to golf. I’ve watched Jose Lopez swing at the 1st pitch too many times. I’ve watched him kill too many rallies. I’ve seen his .238/.268/.327 step into the batter’s box and suck more than any fan of baseball should. He needs to leave and he needs to leave now. He clearly doesn’t care about improving and I don’t care if releasing him means we have to watch Tuiasosopo look scared at 3rd base for the rest of the month. Nothing is worse than watching talent wasted.
Now that I have that off my chest, it’s time for our football preview! We’re breaking this up in 4 parts, two divisions a day the rest of the week. I’ll predict the records in parenthesis and follow up at the end of the season to see how I did. I was going to predict how many felonies Ben Roethlisberger was going to be charged with next off-season, but I didn’t want to seem bitter that he had his suspension shortened. Besides, it’ll be fun watching him get booed every Sunday like Tiger Woods at a Lilith Fair concert. Let’s start in the AFC:
AFC WEST
San Diego Chargers: (13-3)
Why they should win the division: A fairly cushy schedule that opens with 5 of 6 games against KC, OAK, SEA, AZ and STL. Even their tough back-to-back games against TEN and NE are at home. Rivers will return strong, Gates will return strong, and many people are touting Mathews as the next big thing at running back. Of course all of this won’t matter once they lose their first playoff game.
Why they should lose the division: The Vincent Jackson drama might drag down some locker room morale. Maybe they drop a couple of those easy ones (@SEA and @OAK could be trouble) leading to some hung heads going into the TEN and NE games. All of a sudden they’re looking at 3-4 or 4-3 before they get an upstart division rival in DEN at home and a juggernaut IND on the road. By the end of the IND game we’ll know if this team is for real or not.
Fun fact: San Diego’s backup QB (Volek) and backup RB (Sproles) are probably better than the Seahawks starting QB and RB.
Denver Broncos: (7-9)
How they could win the division: If they can survive a brutal 1st half of the season (@JAC, SEA, IND, @TEN, @BAL, NYJ, OAK, @SF) they have a shot with 2 games against SD (the team to beat) and 5 games against KC, OAK, and STL (the teams everyone beats). Orton is actually not that bad, Tebow might be a good player to keep defenses on their toes (although not good enough to warrant trading away 3 good picks). Oh, and team cancer Brandon Marshall is gone. Maybe there will be a day when Marshall, Big Ben and Albert Haynesworth can all play on the same team and all of America could root against them. I’d vote for the Cowboys. Or the Yankees.
Why they could lose: That opening stretch is going to be tough. If they limp away from there at 2-6 or 3-5 you might see Tebow throwing one-hoppers the rest of the season.
Fun Fact: I accidently bid my largest amount on Knowshon Moreno in one of my fantasy football auction leagues. Moreno never topped 100 yards in a game last year. I’m not going to win that fantasy football league.
Kansas City Chiefs: (5-11)
Why they could win: I kind of like this team. Charles is a stud at RB; Bowe’s the real deal at WR. Chambers could be good again with a little luck. I’m not big on Cassel, but you never know. I counted 21 players with 3 years or less experience on defense. These guys could be very good in a couple years.
Why they won’t win: Not their time yet. This might be my sleeper pick for 2011.
Fun Fact: Jose Lopez just flew out to center field. Man that guy is so terrible.
Oakland Raiders: (3-13)
Why they could win: Really? I’ve already dozed off twice trying to read up on them. Looks like their defense isn’t that bad. JaMarcus Russell is off failing a drug test someplace, so that headache’s gone. Their 3 QBs are Jason Campbell, Kyle Boller and Charlie Frye? Wow. Let’s move on.
Why they will lose: Jason Campbell, Kyle Boller and Charlie Frye. Maybe they should give Russell one more shot.
Fun Fact: There is nothing fun about this team.
AFC South
Indianapolis Colts: (13-3)
Why they should win: Still the team to beat in the AFC. Peyton’s still the best QB in the NFL, the Offensive line is still the best in the NFL, WRs are still the best in the NFL. The other side of the ball has finished in the Top 10 in scoring defense the last 3 years. The roster reads like a Hall of Fame class. Manning. Wayne. Garcon. Clark. Saturday. Freeney. Sanders. At some point in our lifetime, age will get the better of this team. That will not be this year.
Why they could lose: Both Sanders and Freeney have injury problems. Maybe they don’t bounce back as well as expected. They have a 6 game stretch (@PHI, CIN, @NE, SD, DAL, @TEN) that could be a problem if the team’s not at 100%. Plus, the rest of the division could be sneaky good this year.
Fun Fact: Peyton Manning threw for 4500 yards and 33 TD last season. That’s 4500 yards and 33 TD more than Charlie Whitehurst has thrown for his entire career
Tennessee Titans: (9-7)
Why they could win: They’re not ready to reclaim the division yet, but they should battle for the Wild Card. Derrick Morgan will help a defense that slipped last year, and Kenny Britt will help a receiving group that lost Derrick Mason to the Ravens. Obviously, the big strength here is Chris Johnson and their rushing attack. I believe I read somewhere that Johnson wanted to eclipse 2500 yards this season. Let me go on record as saying that won’t happen. He will be very, very good though. As long as Vince Young can keep his sanity for the whole season, the Titans should be right there.
Why they could lose: They luck out with a QB-less Pitt game in week 2 (unless we’re suppose to consider Dixon a QB), so they should be 2-0 going into a tough stretch (@NYG, DEN, @DAL, @JAC, PHI, @SD, @MIA). If they don’t win those 1st two games, let’s say they lose to OAK in week one just for giggles, and then drop 4 of those games I just mentioned, that’s 4-5 going into the final 7 games. With two pending games against the Colts. Ugh. They need the first 2 wins for confidence sake.
Fun Fact: The 2006 draft had these QB: Vince Young, Matt Leinart, Jay Cutler, Kellen Clemens, Tarvaris Jackson, Brodie Croyle, Bruce Gradkowski, Ingle Martin, Omar Jacobs, D.J. Shockley and the immortal Charlie Whitehurst.
Houston Texans: (7-9)
Why they could win: A very good QB-WR combo in Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson. Johnson is about to be considered the best receiver in the league, if he’s not already. Arian Foster looks very good at RB. Brian Cushing was the defensive rookie of the year despite using A-rod methods of achieving success (RE: steroids) and Kareem Jackson should help their pass defense. The problem, of course…
Why they won’t win: …is that Houston is a bigger tease than prom night in Salt Lake City. Every year I have to hear stories about Houston being the sleeper team and every year I watch them hover around .500. Yes, they’ll be exciting. Yes they’ll play some close games that “could’ve gone either way”. And, yes, at the end of the season the Texans will either be 7-9, 8-8, or 9-7. Bank on mediocrity.
Fun Fact: Did you see that QB class above? Wow. That might be the worse QB class I have ever seen. At least the JaMarcus Russell-Brady Quinn class the following year gave us Kevin Kolb and John Beck.
Jacksonville Jaguars: (5-11)
Why they could win: I love Jones-Drew (top-5 RB, always a fun interview), I love Sims-Walker (helped me win a fantasy league 2 or 3 years ago), love Garrard (well, loved that one year he had like 3 INT the whole year) love the Kampman signing (37 sacks in 3 years before that injury last year). I will always root for the Jaguars if only because Mark Brunell played with them for 9 years. By the way, did you know Brunell is still in the league? He won a Super Bowl last year! You’d think he’d retire after that, but no, he plays for the Jets now backing up pretty boy Mark Sanchez. Go figure.
Why they won’t win: Garrard hasn’t come close to repeating that ’07 season (18 TD 3 INT in 12 games, 30 TD 23 INT in 32 games since. Yikes). Plus a fairly easy first 6 games (DEN, @SD, PHI, IND, @BUF, TEN) followed by a tough road schedule the rest of the season (@KC, @DAL, @NYG, @TEN, @IND, @HOU) spells trouble for a sub-par DB unit and average team overall.
Fun Fact: Mark Brunell’s 1993 draft (he went in the 5th round, 2 rounds behind Billy Joe “I murdered Washington Husky football for 8 years” Hobert) had Drew Bledsoe, Elvis Grbac and Trent Green but also had Rick Mirer. Rick Mirer’s career with the Seahawks: 41 TD 56 INT. I need a beer.
Rest of the AFC tomorrow!
Now that I have that off my chest, it’s time for our football preview! We’re breaking this up in 4 parts, two divisions a day the rest of the week. I’ll predict the records in parenthesis and follow up at the end of the season to see how I did. I was going to predict how many felonies Ben Roethlisberger was going to be charged with next off-season, but I didn’t want to seem bitter that he had his suspension shortened. Besides, it’ll be fun watching him get booed every Sunday like Tiger Woods at a Lilith Fair concert. Let’s start in the AFC:
AFC WEST
San Diego Chargers: (13-3)
Why they should win the division: A fairly cushy schedule that opens with 5 of 6 games against KC, OAK, SEA, AZ and STL. Even their tough back-to-back games against TEN and NE are at home. Rivers will return strong, Gates will return strong, and many people are touting Mathews as the next big thing at running back. Of course all of this won’t matter once they lose their first playoff game.
Why they should lose the division: The Vincent Jackson drama might drag down some locker room morale. Maybe they drop a couple of those easy ones (@SEA and @OAK could be trouble) leading to some hung heads going into the TEN and NE games. All of a sudden they’re looking at 3-4 or 4-3 before they get an upstart division rival in DEN at home and a juggernaut IND on the road. By the end of the IND game we’ll know if this team is for real or not.
Fun fact: San Diego’s backup QB (Volek) and backup RB (Sproles) are probably better than the Seahawks starting QB and RB.
Denver Broncos: (7-9)
How they could win the division: If they can survive a brutal 1st half of the season (@JAC, SEA, IND, @TEN, @BAL, NYJ, OAK, @SF) they have a shot with 2 games against SD (the team to beat) and 5 games against KC, OAK, and STL (the teams everyone beats). Orton is actually not that bad, Tebow might be a good player to keep defenses on their toes (although not good enough to warrant trading away 3 good picks). Oh, and team cancer Brandon Marshall is gone. Maybe there will be a day when Marshall, Big Ben and Albert Haynesworth can all play on the same team and all of America could root against them. I’d vote for the Cowboys. Or the Yankees.
Why they could lose: That opening stretch is going to be tough. If they limp away from there at 2-6 or 3-5 you might see Tebow throwing one-hoppers the rest of the season.
Fun Fact: I accidently bid my largest amount on Knowshon Moreno in one of my fantasy football auction leagues. Moreno never topped 100 yards in a game last year. I’m not going to win that fantasy football league.
Kansas City Chiefs: (5-11)
Why they could win: I kind of like this team. Charles is a stud at RB; Bowe’s the real deal at WR. Chambers could be good again with a little luck. I’m not big on Cassel, but you never know. I counted 21 players with 3 years or less experience on defense. These guys could be very good in a couple years.
Why they won’t win: Not their time yet. This might be my sleeper pick for 2011.
Fun Fact: Jose Lopez just flew out to center field. Man that guy is so terrible.
Oakland Raiders: (3-13)
Why they could win: Really? I’ve already dozed off twice trying to read up on them. Looks like their defense isn’t that bad. JaMarcus Russell is off failing a drug test someplace, so that headache’s gone. Their 3 QBs are Jason Campbell, Kyle Boller and Charlie Frye? Wow. Let’s move on.
Why they will lose: Jason Campbell, Kyle Boller and Charlie Frye. Maybe they should give Russell one more shot.
Fun Fact: There is nothing fun about this team.
AFC South
Indianapolis Colts: (13-3)
Why they should win: Still the team to beat in the AFC. Peyton’s still the best QB in the NFL, the Offensive line is still the best in the NFL, WRs are still the best in the NFL. The other side of the ball has finished in the Top 10 in scoring defense the last 3 years. The roster reads like a Hall of Fame class. Manning. Wayne. Garcon. Clark. Saturday. Freeney. Sanders. At some point in our lifetime, age will get the better of this team. That will not be this year.
Why they could lose: Both Sanders and Freeney have injury problems. Maybe they don’t bounce back as well as expected. They have a 6 game stretch (@PHI, CIN, @NE, SD, DAL, @TEN) that could be a problem if the team’s not at 100%. Plus, the rest of the division could be sneaky good this year.
Fun Fact: Peyton Manning threw for 4500 yards and 33 TD last season. That’s 4500 yards and 33 TD more than Charlie Whitehurst has thrown for his entire career
Tennessee Titans: (9-7)
Why they could win: They’re not ready to reclaim the division yet, but they should battle for the Wild Card. Derrick Morgan will help a defense that slipped last year, and Kenny Britt will help a receiving group that lost Derrick Mason to the Ravens. Obviously, the big strength here is Chris Johnson and their rushing attack. I believe I read somewhere that Johnson wanted to eclipse 2500 yards this season. Let me go on record as saying that won’t happen. He will be very, very good though. As long as Vince Young can keep his sanity for the whole season, the Titans should be right there.
Why they could lose: They luck out with a QB-less Pitt game in week 2 (unless we’re suppose to consider Dixon a QB), so they should be 2-0 going into a tough stretch (@NYG, DEN, @DAL, @JAC, PHI, @SD, @MIA). If they don’t win those 1st two games, let’s say they lose to OAK in week one just for giggles, and then drop 4 of those games I just mentioned, that’s 4-5 going into the final 7 games. With two pending games against the Colts. Ugh. They need the first 2 wins for confidence sake.
Fun Fact: The 2006 draft had these QB: Vince Young, Matt Leinart, Jay Cutler, Kellen Clemens, Tarvaris Jackson, Brodie Croyle, Bruce Gradkowski, Ingle Martin, Omar Jacobs, D.J. Shockley and the immortal Charlie Whitehurst.
Houston Texans: (7-9)
Why they could win: A very good QB-WR combo in Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson. Johnson is about to be considered the best receiver in the league, if he’s not already. Arian Foster looks very good at RB. Brian Cushing was the defensive rookie of the year despite using A-rod methods of achieving success (RE: steroids) and Kareem Jackson should help their pass defense. The problem, of course…
Why they won’t win: …is that Houston is a bigger tease than prom night in Salt Lake City. Every year I have to hear stories about Houston being the sleeper team and every year I watch them hover around .500. Yes, they’ll be exciting. Yes they’ll play some close games that “could’ve gone either way”. And, yes, at the end of the season the Texans will either be 7-9, 8-8, or 9-7. Bank on mediocrity.
Fun Fact: Did you see that QB class above? Wow. That might be the worse QB class I have ever seen. At least the JaMarcus Russell-Brady Quinn class the following year gave us Kevin Kolb and John Beck.
Jacksonville Jaguars: (5-11)
Why they could win: I love Jones-Drew (top-5 RB, always a fun interview), I love Sims-Walker (helped me win a fantasy league 2 or 3 years ago), love Garrard (well, loved that one year he had like 3 INT the whole year) love the Kampman signing (37 sacks in 3 years before that injury last year). I will always root for the Jaguars if only because Mark Brunell played with them for 9 years. By the way, did you know Brunell is still in the league? He won a Super Bowl last year! You’d think he’d retire after that, but no, he plays for the Jets now backing up pretty boy Mark Sanchez. Go figure.
Why they won’t win: Garrard hasn’t come close to repeating that ’07 season (18 TD 3 INT in 12 games, 30 TD 23 INT in 32 games since. Yikes). Plus a fairly easy first 6 games (DEN, @SD, PHI, IND, @BUF, TEN) followed by a tough road schedule the rest of the season (@KC, @DAL, @NYG, @TEN, @IND, @HOU) spells trouble for a sub-par DB unit and average team overall.
Fun Fact: Mark Brunell’s 1993 draft (he went in the 5th round, 2 rounds behind Billy Joe “I murdered Washington Husky football for 8 years” Hobert) had Drew Bledsoe, Elvis Grbac and Trent Green but also had Rick Mirer. Rick Mirer’s career with the Seahawks: 41 TD 56 INT. I need a beer.
Rest of the AFC tomorrow!
| 69 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog
