Winless In Seattle
Steve Sauro
Elliott SmithBetter than nuthin'.
July 29th 2010 05:58
Your attention please, all ye win-starved Seattle sports fans: A record may soon be broken.
Yes, I said it. A record.
Broken!
For Seattle sports fans, this could be big. Note that I said Seattle sports fans. To any other fans, this wouldn’t even make the airwaves.
Yet, when I turned on the radio on my way home from work, the topic had not only been brought up, but was being discussed. In detail.
Great detail, even.
This record is so utterly meaningless, so pointless, so “who really cares,” that only Seattle sports fans can discuss it.
I don’t even think the Exciting Super Players Network is remotely aware of what could potentially happen in the Great Northwest this year. (Or maybe they do, but they’re so busy with actual sports news that they aren’t batting an eye at this anti-doozie.)
The great record I am referring to, will more than likely belong to a Mariner by the end of the year.
Have you figured out which record I am referring to? If so, are you like me and care more about who is about to get The Bachelorette’s final rose, than if the M’s player breaks the record or not?
For those uneducated Seattle sport fans (psh, lame), I am referring to Ichiro’s potentially amazing 200 hits a year for 10 years in-a-row record. I know. You’re now smacking yourself in the head, mumbling, “How could I have been unaware of a record that may change the face of Seattle sports... as. we. know. it?!” Don’t worry. No one else in America knows (or really cares) about the record either.
Even though the Mariners are in last place in the AL West and have the worst offense in the Major League… we still have the privilege to root for Ichiro during his quest.
One.
Single.
At.
A.
Time.
Hey now, that’s something the Yankees, Red Sox, Rangers, Twins, Tigers, White Sox, Rays, and Angels will never have (suckerrrs).
Sure, each of those teams has a chance to make the playoffs… but I will take 200 hits over the chance to see my team play in the World Series any day.
And by that, I mean the exact opposite.
So when you are yelling at the TV or radio after the M’s find yet another way to load the bases with no outs and still not score
ONE
FREAKING
RUN…
…just relax, and be thrilled that Ichiro with probably hit the 200 mark again this year and we’ll finally have something other than 1995 talk about. Sweet.
Mariner’s baseball, taking the AL West, one single at a time.
(Disclaimer: I do not watch The Bachelorette. Seriously. Swear. Nor do I know that Roberto and Chris are the two finalists. And that The Bachelorette is hot. Like, really. I don’t know these things at all.)
Yes, I said it. A record.
Broken!
For Seattle sports fans, this could be big. Note that I said Seattle sports fans. To any other fans, this wouldn’t even make the airwaves.
Yet, when I turned on the radio on my way home from work, the topic had not only been brought up, but was being discussed. In detail.
Great detail, even.
This record is so utterly meaningless, so pointless, so “who really cares,” that only Seattle sports fans can discuss it.
I don’t even think the Exciting Super Players Network is remotely aware of what could potentially happen in the Great Northwest this year. (Or maybe they do, but they’re so busy with actual sports news that they aren’t batting an eye at this anti-doozie.)
The great record I am referring to, will more than likely belong to a Mariner by the end of the year.
Have you figured out which record I am referring to? If so, are you like me and care more about who is about to get The Bachelorette’s final rose, than if the M’s player breaks the record or not?
For those uneducated Seattle sport fans (psh, lame), I am referring to Ichiro’s potentially amazing 200 hits a year for 10 years in-a-row record. I know. You’re now smacking yourself in the head, mumbling, “How could I have been unaware of a record that may change the face of Seattle sports... as. we. know. it?!” Don’t worry. No one else in America knows (or really cares) about the record either.
Even though the Mariners are in last place in the AL West and have the worst offense in the Major League… we still have the privilege to root for Ichiro during his quest.
One.
Single.
At.
A.
Time.
Hey now, that’s something the Yankees, Red Sox, Rangers, Twins, Tigers, White Sox, Rays, and Angels will never have (suckerrrs).
Sure, each of those teams has a chance to make the playoffs… but I will take 200 hits over the chance to see my team play in the World Series any day.
And by that, I mean the exact opposite.
So when you are yelling at the TV or radio after the M’s find yet another way to load the bases with no outs and still not score
ONE
FREAKING
RUN…
…just relax, and be thrilled that Ichiro with probably hit the 200 mark again this year and we’ll finally have something other than 1995 talk about. Sweet.
Mariner’s baseball, taking the AL West, one single at a time.
(Disclaimer: I do not watch The Bachelorette. Seriously. Swear. Nor do I know that Roberto and Chris are the two finalists. And that The Bachelorette is hot. Like, really. I don’t know these things at all.)
Signed,
Turk
Turk
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Comment by jesse-podoll
UnSportsman
Comment by jesse-podoll
UnSportsman
Thanks a lot though!
Comment by Lindsay#2
We Cincinnati fans can sympathize with non-newsworthy news on the radio. After all, we're home to the Reds and the Bengals...