Winless In Seattle
Steve Sauro
Elliott SmithAnswering a question...
July 27th 2010 18:51
A few years ago, I was playing poker with some buddies of mine. Our cocktail waitress was this beautiful redhead; we'll call her Amber (because that was her name. There's a .00001% chance she'll ever read this.). We exchanged a few words throughout the night and after I busted out, her and I chatted over a couple of drinks until her shift was over. She asked for a ride home, I dropped her off at her house and gave her my number. I didn't think of Amber for almost 3 months until one day my phone rang and we had this exchange:
Me: Hello?
Amber: Elliott, hey it's Amber!
Me: Who?
Amber: Amber! I wanted to thank you for the ride home. What are you doing later?
Me: From the poker game 3 months ago? That Amber?
Amber: You're so funny. You want to go grab a bite to eat or maybe some ice cream later today? Like 4ish?
Me: A bite to eat or ice cream? I'm open to both if you really wanted to go wild.
Amber: That would be cool! Hey, do you have a car seat?
Me: Huh?
Amber: For my daughter.
Me: You have a kid?
Amber: I have 3 kids. Well, I gave 2 up for adoption, but I still see them once a year.
Me: Wow. Ok. No, I don't have a car seat. Should we just meet someplace so you can just use yours?
Amber: Oh, I don't have a car. I'll just go outside and see if I can use Mom's. Plus, I want to make sure her and her husband will be here when you pick me up so you can meet both of them.
Me: You want me to meet your parents before I take you and your kid to ice cream on our 1st date?
Amber: I live with them, it's the polite thing to do.
Me: Am I being punk'd?
Ok, I made that last line up. But the rest if 100% true. Now most people would see about a dozen red flags in that scenario, and they would be right in doing so. I, however, always give the benefit of the doubt. I'm in my 20's, maybe it's normal to meet someone's kid on a 1st date. She lives with her parents; they might want to meet everyone that picks her up. Maybe she was in the Peace Corps the last three months. I ended up giving the benefit of the doubt for about 5 dates. You would think the highlight of dating Amber would be when she said she loved me after our second(!) date, or when she told me she stopped "doing speed like a year ago" (that was the final date). You would be wrong. It was on our 3rd date while we were driving around that she blurted out "I want to play some music that will blow your mind!" and then proceeded to pull out her "Appetite for Destruction" tape. To this day, I don't know what amazes me more--that she thought I hadn't heard Guns N' Roses before or that she thought I had a cassette player in my car.
What does any of this have to do with sports? Yesterday Zac, one of our loyal readers, sent me this email:
Excellent! For those that don't know, the beginning of our season saw the Mariners with a logjam at DH starring Ken Griffey Jr., Milton Bradley, and Mike Sweeney. Some people might point out that Bradley can also play the outfield, and I would respond by saying that some people don't know what they are talking about. Anytime you can replace an outfielder with a bucket (a large bucket, I'll grant you that) and record the same number of outs, he's a DH. Anyways, Sweeney got injured trying to swing to hard (I think) and Griffey retired to Florida (because that's where old people go) and the situation kind of solved itself. But our GM likes having logjams, and traded for two more 1st basemen to go with Casey Kotchman and sometimes Jose Lopez (because you have to find a way to keep that bat in the lineup!).
So, 3rd part 1st. Yes. Branyan can, and as recently as 2008, did play 3B. The other two haven't, although I wasn't able to find their little league records. Branyan was brought up as a 3B, and while I'm sure his mobility might have lessened a bit, maybe he can still play there? That's a big question, because if he can, it answers the other two parts. Here's my idea:
There are only 4 days before the trade deadline. Lopez won't improve his trade value in that time and thinking about watching him for 2 more months makes my head hurt. Ship him off to the 1st team that bites. Get a single A prospect back. Or some bats and balls. Or a free month of Netflix. Doesn't matter, dump him. Once Hack-A-Lot is gone, put Josh Wilson at 3B until Branyan is better. After Branyan heals up, you have Branyan at 3B and the Smoak/Kotchman combo trading off at 1B/DH. Our defense will drop a bit at 3B, but who cares? This season is over and I'm willing to bet our fan base would rather have some extra pop in our lineup than fewer errors at third.
You see, Jack Z created this mess. And despite the season not working out (at all), I still like giving him a chance. I always give the benefit of the doubt. I'm certain he wasn't thinking about putting Branyan at 3rd when he traded for him, but so what? Try something new. Give the fans something to look forward to! No one likes Lopez, everyone likes Branyan. It's an easy fix and it's something he should do. Hopefully he will.
Me: Hello?
Amber: Elliott, hey it's Amber!
Me: Who?
Amber: Amber! I wanted to thank you for the ride home. What are you doing later?
Me: From the poker game 3 months ago? That Amber?
Amber: You're so funny. You want to go grab a bite to eat or maybe some ice cream later today? Like 4ish?
Me: A bite to eat or ice cream? I'm open to both if you really wanted to go wild.
Amber: That would be cool! Hey, do you have a car seat?
Me: Huh?
Amber: For my daughter.
Me: You have a kid?
Amber: I have 3 kids. Well, I gave 2 up for adoption, but I still see them once a year.
Me: Wow. Ok. No, I don't have a car seat. Should we just meet someplace so you can just use yours?
Amber: Oh, I don't have a car. I'll just go outside and see if I can use Mom's. Plus, I want to make sure her and her husband will be here when you pick me up so you can meet both of them.
Me: You want me to meet your parents before I take you and your kid to ice cream on our 1st date?
Amber: I live with them, it's the polite thing to do.
Me: Am I being punk'd?
Ok, I made that last line up. But the rest if 100% true. Now most people would see about a dozen red flags in that scenario, and they would be right in doing so. I, however, always give the benefit of the doubt. I'm in my 20's, maybe it's normal to meet someone's kid on a 1st date. She lives with her parents; they might want to meet everyone that picks her up. Maybe she was in the Peace Corps the last three months. I ended up giving the benefit of the doubt for about 5 dates. You would think the highlight of dating Amber would be when she said she loved me after our second(!) date, or when she told me she stopped "doing speed like a year ago" (that was the final date). You would be wrong. It was on our 3rd date while we were driving around that she blurted out "I want to play some music that will blow your mind!" and then proceeded to pull out her "Appetite for Destruction" tape. To this day, I don't know what amazes me more--that she thought I hadn't heard Guns N' Roses before or that she thought I had a cassette player in my car.
What does any of this have to do with sports? Yesterday Zac, one of our loyal readers, sent me this email:
‎3 questions today: 1) If/When Branyan gets healthy enough to play again, where do we put him? Smoak plays the rest of this lost year and Kotch is hitting .360 in July. 2) Does someone with serious pop batting behind Lopez in any way get him more decent pitches to look at (read as: hack wildly) long enough for the M's... ship him off? 3)Can Kotchman, Branyan, or Smoak play third base?
Excellent! For those that don't know, the beginning of our season saw the Mariners with a logjam at DH starring Ken Griffey Jr., Milton Bradley, and Mike Sweeney. Some people might point out that Bradley can also play the outfield, and I would respond by saying that some people don't know what they are talking about. Anytime you can replace an outfielder with a bucket (a large bucket, I'll grant you that) and record the same number of outs, he's a DH. Anyways, Sweeney got injured trying to swing to hard (I think) and Griffey retired to Florida (because that's where old people go) and the situation kind of solved itself. But our GM likes having logjams, and traded for two more 1st basemen to go with Casey Kotchman and sometimes Jose Lopez (because you have to find a way to keep that bat in the lineup!).
So, 3rd part 1st. Yes. Branyan can, and as recently as 2008, did play 3B. The other two haven't, although I wasn't able to find their little league records. Branyan was brought up as a 3B, and while I'm sure his mobility might have lessened a bit, maybe he can still play there? That's a big question, because if he can, it answers the other two parts. Here's my idea:
There are only 4 days before the trade deadline. Lopez won't improve his trade value in that time and thinking about watching him for 2 more months makes my head hurt. Ship him off to the 1st team that bites. Get a single A prospect back. Or some bats and balls. Or a free month of Netflix. Doesn't matter, dump him. Once Hack-A-Lot is gone, put Josh Wilson at 3B until Branyan is better. After Branyan heals up, you have Branyan at 3B and the Smoak/Kotchman combo trading off at 1B/DH. Our defense will drop a bit at 3B, but who cares? This season is over and I'm willing to bet our fan base would rather have some extra pop in our lineup than fewer errors at third.
You see, Jack Z created this mess. And despite the season not working out (at all), I still like giving him a chance. I always give the benefit of the doubt. I'm certain he wasn't thinking about putting Branyan at 3rd when he traded for him, but so what? Try something new. Give the fans something to look forward to! No one likes Lopez, everyone likes Branyan. It's an easy fix and it's something he should do. Hopefully he will.
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Comment by jesse-podoll
UnSportsman
The more you hear/talk/see/read of my thoughts/posts - you'll come to realize I tend to embrace the role of devil's advocate. Even if you say something I agree with - I'll argue the other side - just to make sure that you agree with yourself.
That being said - I don't think your thoughts are completely out of LF (pun intended - take that Milton Bradley!). The DH situation was pathetic - and I posted on here earlier about Jack Z having to make moves that WORK OUT in his next few moves.
Well, Branyan wasn't it. And he's not the answer at 3B - even for short term. His back issues (the hole in your theory) will keep him on the shelf for too long - and at this point in a lost season - too little, too late is truly the case. It would be like polishing the brass on the Titanic... it doesn't matter, because it's all going down anyway.
One thing that Jack Z has committed to is our farm system. I think there we find the answer. We both agree that Lopez should have been gone months/years ago - and if nothing happens in the next 4 days - his chances of having a roster spot next year are slim and none. And slim just left town. No, I'm not talking Matt Tuiasosopo. I'm talking Dustin Ackley. I think he's our 2011 2B. Which solves the 3B problem by sliding Figgins (where he should be anyway) back over to the hot corner. In fact, if the lineup by September doesn't include just that (Ackley 2B, Figgins 3B) I'll be surprised - and it will serve as just another nail in the Jack Z/Wakamatsu coffin.
In addition, I think that Kotchman has more value than Lopez right now - and we might get some bites for him in the next 4 days.